Warriors As Told by the Fans
by Min Henri
Summary: Warriors As Told by the Fans, because let's face it, this is what our minds are secretly thinking throughout the series! Know what you are getting yourself into before you start reading this because, FanFiction, this is going to be a wild ride! Cover art by SleepyGhosty
1. The Weirdest Prologue

**(A/N): This is for my friends in BunnyClan, who all the while were contributing to this story without knowing it. Here are all the people who contributed, so please check out their profiles:**

 **SleepyGhosty**

 **Shelly is Actually Back Now (her name frequently changes though, but you can find her on BunnyClan)**

 **MegaSerperior**

 **Pokeeeeeeee**

 **FangofYellow**

 **Toaster Stroodal (aka me)**

 **SayoriStories4ever**

 **Amber Inksoul**

 **Theatricals**

 **Medicine Cat of the Opera**

 **Darkpool34**

The Weirdest Prologue

 _A long time ago, in a universe far far away..._

 _WARRIORS AS TOLD BY THE FANS_

 _It is a period of randomness. Warriors Cats fans, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the original series by Erin Hunter. During the battle, fan spies managed to steal secret plans to the Erin Hunter's ultimate weapon, Warriors, a famous book series with enough power to destroy an entire, uh, bookshelf. Pursued by the Erin Hunters' agents, a random fangirl races home on her own two feet, hiding the stolen plans. With great care, she introduces the plans to her staff and begins to read the original plans for Warriors...but you know what? Screw this Star Wars intro, I'm outta here._


	2. The Awkward Beginning Chapter

The Awkward Beginning Chapter

The random fangirl slammed her hand on the table, eyeing the people around her warily.

"Look, we all know why we are here," she began, tucking back a strand of loose chocolate brown hair behind her ear,"I shall read what the Erin Hunters originally planned for Warriors to be..." The group braced themselves for the worst, wondering what would be the original concept. It filled the room with tension, and it was so quiet you could hear a pen drop. As a matter of fact, a pen did drop, but that is irrelevant to the story.

"Ahem, anyways, I shall read to you the Warriors that never was!" the random fangirl gulped, and looked down at the set of papers in front of her, picked the one on top up, and began to read...

...

Meepkit, a young tom, was playing in the nursery until Derpstar came forward. At first, Meepkit was excited to have caught his leader's attention. However, heartbeats later, he realized he did _not_ want his leader's attention.

"Go eat elders' ticks, wouldya?" Derpstar asked lazily, staring off into nothing while Meepkit's jaw hung open. Quickly bringing himself to, Meepkit refused to go eat elders' ticks.

"Too bad!" Derpstar yowled like a mad piranha, and buried Meepkit under the freshkill pile as punishment. But, Meepkit immediately had a solution, and ate all the freshkill. His leader gave up, fortunately, but unfortunately, later Meepkit got explosive diarrhea. Luckily Meepkit didn't actually explode like he thought he would. Derpstar became so furious he set the nursery on fire, but our favorite protagonist flailed on the fire and extinguished it. When Tangheart saw Meepkit extinguish the fire, she was so impressed that she broke down crying. When Shimmerliciousflower saw Tangheart crying, she ran over and proclaimed that the tears were magical.

However, all the while, Evilguy sneaked up to the enemy camp in hopes to explode it, and Meepkit was meditating his way through all the events. Luckily, Shimmerliciousflower saw Evilguy and threw an exploding shimmerlicious flower. And Meepkit was still meditating...

...

Everybody stared at the random fangirl, jaws hung open in utter shock. All of them together in chorus said: "What. The. Heck?" The random fangirl just shrugged and quickly stacked up the papers.

"I'll be back tomorrow reading the second chapter. Enjoy the rest of your day, ladies, gentlemen!" she then quick-walked her way out, and raced across the street to her apartment.


	3. The Official Sequel to First Chapter

The Official Sequel to First Chapter

The random fangirl skipped her way to the meeting room, where her staff was waiting to hear the second chapter of the Warriors that never was. Holding papers with small scribbling tightly to her chest, she entered the room where five other people were waiting. A random adult checked his watch before looking up and saying sternly,"You're three seconds late." The random fangirl just rolled her eyes.

"It's only three seconds. But anyways, here I am ready to read chapter two!" she said brightly, taking her seat at the table before beginning to read.

...

Meepkit continued to meditate, just like he did in the previous chapter, while a completely irrelevant character to the plot and story named Boringkit decided to do a headstand. Suddenly and randomly, Shimmerliciousflower fluttered over to Boringkit. Moments later, Meepkit began to scream. Shimmerliciousflower started screaming as well, right in Boringkit's ear. Slowly the whole clan started screaming because FartClan was attacking.

"FartClan attack!" the non-important weird leader of FartClan screeched, and commanded his clan to charge at their enemy, and you know what? That is exactly what they did. Luckily, or rather unluckily for some, Boringkit defeated the WHOLE of FartClan, like the Marysue she is. But since Meepkit is supposed to be the main character, he murdered Boringkit so all spotlights would remain on him. However, Derpstar was very sad that Boringkit died. While Derpstar punished Meepkit, Boringkit awoke in StarClan and saw a freakishly old cat in front her. Boringkit simply ate the freakishly old cat. But the freakishly old cat simply came back. Boringkit decided to do another headstand, because why not? In turn, the freakishly old cat did a headstand. Boringkit farted, and the freakishly old cat farted.

"We are destined to be soul mates," the freakishly old cat declared. Heartbeats later, Boringkit proposed,"Freakishly old cat, will you marry me?" Even though Boringkit is the female here, it doesn't really matter. And even though Freakishly old cat is well, I don't know...freakishly old, they got married, but that doesn't really matter. Freakishly old cat cried in pure joy and his tears fell down to the living world. Gingerbreadlover suddenly stepped forward.

"I now pronounce you Starclan mates!" He yowled, "No marriage vows are needed you clearly love each other!" He then passed out the rings, which were made of pure gold. Back down in the alive world, Meepkit belched on Derpstar so the story could go back to focusing on him. Derpstar died because it smelled like onions; Derpstar's weakness is onions, unfortunately. Boringkit and Freakishly old cat were kissing when Derpstar met them in StarClan. Freakishly old cat (whose name was Uglybuttface) fell in love with Derpstar. Plot twist! Dun dun dun!

...

Everybody once again at the table was shocked, not at the plot twist, but at the story in general. However, hiding their shock, four people at the table said in chorus:"Boringkit belongs with Uglybuttface! They were meant to be!" Quite a surprise, really. The random fangirl just slipped out of the room after saying,"Toodaloo! I will be reading chapter three tomorrow!" and dashed home to her apartment, and began to start scribbling something down.


	4. The Official Threequel

**Thank you for all the reviews everybody! Speaking of reviews, I shall answer some:  
**

 **DNACat:** Nope! If someone else contributes, let's say in thirty minutes, I'll release a revised edition of who contributes in about an hour (maybe)

 **candacedae:** Thanks! AND WHERE DID THOSE WAFFLES GO?

 **Shelly is Actually Back Now:** Haha, your fault for clicking this :)

The Official Threequel to the first chapter!

The random fangirl bounced into the meeting room carelessly, a bright smile on her face.

"Good morning everybody! I know I'm five minutes late, so let's get right into the chapter so we don't waste more time!"

...

 _Last time on Warriors As Told by the Fans:_

 _Boringkit and Freakishly old cat were kissing when Derpstar met them in StarClan._ _Freakishly old cat (whose name was Uglybuttface) fell in love with Derpstar. Plot twist! Dun dun dun!  
_

...

Boringkit sobbed, and Derpstar waved at Uglybuttface, all the while Meepkit was farting on his clanmates for attention, because the story was recently focusing on Boringkit and her love life. However, Gingerbreadlover got the focus back on the love life of Boringkit by killing Derpstar so he would die for the second time.

"No one interrupts me!" He said as he had previously been speaking. Meepkit suddenly farted her way to StarClan, because he was just that desperate for attention. Uglybuttface sobbed and then kissed Boringkit, ignoring Meepkit entirely. Meepkit sobbed and then committed suicide from lack of attention. Then a new mary-sue was born...

I'maperfectangelkit! And her boring littermate: Telephonepolekit. However, the new marysue immediately committed suicide so she could see what StarClan was like, while Telephonepolekit died from boredom, as expected. Uglybuttface revived I'maperfectangelkit and Telephonepolekit, just for kicks. Suddenly, competition to I'maperfectangelkit was born...Nyahkit, Derpkit, and Meepkit! Because why not? And hey, they were named after a past leader, a gary-stue, and...one was just named that way.

Luckily our hero, Gingerbreadlover, revived himself. He then killed all the mary-sues of the clan (almost completely killing the clan). He then committed suicide so he could go back to StarClan where he governed Boringkit's and Uglybuttface's marriage. Boringkit decided to revive Nyahkit and Derpkit, but not Meepkit. You know, just for kicks.

Tangheart, however, was so tired of all events that she fled to Fartclan and became Tangstar (can't say I blame her). But the spontanious kit Derpkit just _had_ to follow Tangstar to FartClan. And when he arrived, he said:

"I am your kit. LOVE ME!" Well, that was random. How would Tangstar react? Well it's not like I'd leave all you readers behind here leaving you with that cliche cliffhanger "find out in the next chapter!" or anything...but I'm doing that, sorry.

...

The random fangirl giggled as she read the last part, and stacked up her papers and left once more. The entire room said in chorus after she had left: "Wow. Just wow. By the way, Boringkit and Uglybuttface forever!" The people were still quite shocked how it had gone from this to a kittypet named Rusty joining the four clans. It was almost unreal...


	5. The Unique Fourth Chapter

**Sorry for not updating sooner! I got a bit carried away in life. Thank you for all the good reviews, and here's the next chapter:**

The "Unique" Fourth Chapter

The random fangirl skipped inside the room, clutching the papers tightly to her chest.

"How's it going everybody? Good? Good," she said giving an irrelevant person to the story a high-five before sitting down with a small "ahem". And without further ado, she began to read the Warriors that never was after nearly a week of absence.

...

After Derpkit said the incredibly randomly random sentence, he waited for Tangstar's response. Tangstar was so tired and she's gotten insomnia for the past few hours so she just made Derpkit a Fartclan elder. Derpkit's jaw dropped as he was shoved into the elders' den, and he began to wail. Boringkit decided to join the sobbing session. Tangstar sobbed as well. And suddenly out of the blue, Boringkit decided to give Tangstar fifty million lives because she was magical. But he was probably just bored! The long forgotten Meepkit quickly protested when the news reached his magical ears. There is a lot of magical stuff going on right now...

Boringkit decided to save the poor readers from Meepkit's gary-stuish "activities", and gave Meepkit a monobrow. What a beautiful sight to imagine! Meepkit would not stand for this injustice even though it was justice, and told Boringkit to poke a beehive. Boringkit poked a beehive. Boringkit got stung by a hundred bees. The long forgotten Nyahkit laughed so hard she got a cardiac arrest!

Unfortunately for Boringkit, the bee stings somehow made half of her memory be erased and she magically transformed into a boy. Once the pain kicked in from the bee stings, Boringkit screamed like a girl, and then wondered why he sounded like a girl.

Despite Boringkit's question, Shimmerliciousflower entered the crime scence where Nyahkit had a cardiac arrest. Boringkit grabbed a beehive and threw it at Shimmerliciousflower...Dun dun dun!

...

Everybody at the table screamed in chorus: "NOOOOO SHIMMERLICIOUSFLOWER!". The random fangirl just grinned and hopped out, quite proud of herself for some reason. But, just as usual, she would be back soon for another dramatic reading of who-knows-what-this-story-is-anymore sometime soon!


End file.
